How to Preserve — And Even Strengthen — Your Relationship During Quarantine, According to a Marriage Expert

APS Member/Author: Eli Finkel

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, what does forced proximity do to it?

In the era of COVID-19, as more and more states mandate that people stay at home to flatten the contagion curve, many couples are feeling the impact of being together constantly. For some, this may be a make-or-break moment, particularly as social distancing and isolation leave them feeling cooped up.

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Major stressors influence relationships in various ways. One study shows that life-threatening events such as hurricanes increase divorce rates — but also marriage and birth rates. Early indications suggest that the COVID-19 outbreak may have already increased divorce rates, although it will be a while before we know about the effects on marriage and birth rates. Many have speculated that it will produce a baby boom, although others suggest that such a boom will be limited to first-time parents!

Research provides clues about which relationships are at risk from the outbreak — and which may benefit. For couples whose strengths involve a cherished routine of dinner dates or a commitment to the goal of working out together at the gym, the coming weeks (or months) are likely to be a struggle.

The key is to recalibrate expectations of what the relationship can realistically provide under the circumstances. By lowering unrealistic expectations, couples can keep difficulties from growing into a full-blown relationship crisis. But by holding onto certain important expectations — rather than expecting nothing at all — couples can use the forced isolation together to play to their strengths, perhaps even growing closer.

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Read the whole story (subscription may be required): Business Insider