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How Not to Cope With Personal Insult
The Huffington Post: Humans have always had to cope with threats, both big and small. The physical and life-threatening threats that our ancestors faced have largely been replaced by social threats, but they are nonetheless an emotional menace. Insults, rejections and criticism can undermine our integrity and self-esteem. Sometimes we cope with these threats smoothly, and other times awkwardly -- sometimes disastrously. Is there a single, most effective strategy for dealing with life's constant battering?
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When feeling good isn’t good enough: Self-control, not self-esteem, is the key to success
New York Daily News: Psychology has identified two different prescriptions for how to solve the personal problems that people face today: self-esteem and self-control. Both have been touted as ways to reduce crime, obesity, school underachievement, teen pregnancy, drug abuse and domestic violence. After conducting dozens of studies and reading hundreds of others, I have concluded that one prescription is snake oil while the other is as close to penicillin as psychology is going to get. Here's my takeaway: Forget bolstering self-esteem. Concentrate on building self-control. Self-control is good for the person who has it, for the people around him or her and, in fact, for society as a whole.
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Public display of disaffection
Macleans: Last June, Kevin Newman delivered the commencement address at the University of Western Ontario. Reading from his iPad, the veteran TV news journalist extolled social media’s increasing role in shaping global events—and how it’s destined to make the graduating class “the most consequential generation in more than a century.” Afterwards, the 52-year-old, who received an honorary doctorate at the ceremony, took his seat on the dais and began typing into his iPhone. Once, in the paleolithic pre-Facebook era, a guest of honour displaying such distracted behaviour would have summoned dismayed cocked eyebrows. But if the university’s robed dignitaries were offended, they showed no sign.
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Attractive individuals may be penalized for good looks
National Post: It isn’t easy being beautiful — at least, not all the time. Two new studies have identified a surprising penalty for good looks, with implications for professional and personal settings alike. Researchers from Germany find the well-known beauty bias is actually flipped when attractive job candidates are appraised by a same-sex evaluator. Researchers from the U.S., separately, show a similarly negative effect when good-looking people have their apologies judged by their own gender. “There are a lot of studies that show attractive people make more money, are more likely to get hired and get lighter sentences in court when they’re convicted of crimes.
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What Happens to Us When We Feel Powerless
The Huffington Post: Control is an important aspect of our psychological well-being. Many of the most frustrating situations in life involve cases where events are happening around you, and you have no say in how they turn out. Patients suffering from significant illnesses must come to grips with the lack of control they have over their disease. Low-level employees in a business may be frustrated by their inability to control their work day. An interesting paper in the August, 2011 issue of Psychological Science by Ena Inesi, Simona Botti, David Dubois, Derek Rucker and Adam Galinsky examines two sources of control in our lives: choice and power.
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Something for the weekend
Financial Times: We are all familiar with the pain of rejection - not being invited to a party, or being excluded in a conversation. Now a psychology academic and an assistant professor of management and organisation have examined the impact of social rejection. They have concluded that even if individuals are sympathetic to the social snubs experienced by another, they do not understand how upset the person concerned actually feels.
