Who’s ‘They’?

The New York Times Magazine:

We are witnessing a great explosion in the way that human beings are allowed to express their gender identities. We are also hearing a lot of awkward conversations. What are we supposed to … call everyone? A recent scene on HBO’s “Girls” riffed on this problem, drawing a linguistic fault line down a Brooklyn street. On one side is a no-frills coffee joint run by Ray Ploshansky, the show’s resident grumpy old man. (He’s, like, 38.) Across the street, a hip new cafe springs up and instantly hoovers up Ray’s clientele.

When Ray crosses the road to eyeball the competition, he encounters a barista he can’t quite size up. First he calls the barista “sir,” and the barista balks, “Why’d you feel the need to call me ‘sir’?” So Ray tries “female?” and the barista says: “Oh, ‘female’? You a biologist? You a biological essentialist? Are you a detective?” So Ray asks, “What’s going on here?” and a second barista steps in to explain: “What’s going on here is that you offended they, and you offended me, so I think it’s best that you leave.” He does. The baristas embrace.

…

Lynn Liben, a psychologist at Penn State, has studied the effects of gender-coded language — English weaves it in by way of pronouns (she, his) but also identifying nouns (girl, uncle) and honorifics (Mr. and Mrs.) — for about 15 years.

Read the whole story: The New York Times Magazine