The Psychology of Forgiveness

The Huffington Post:

It was excruciating to watch Anthony Weiner, a U.S. Representative from New York, making public amends this week for tweeting lewd photos of himself to a young woman he didn’t even know. He was clearly mortified — at least his taut jaw and flat expression suggested that he was. But politicians are practiced at sending non-verbal messages, and Weiner was no doubt using every tool in his kit. Maybe he was just chagrined and upset at getting caught in such a foolish stunt.

He hasn’t won my trust back yet, and I’m guessing that others feel this way as well. Trust recovery — apologizing, promising change, insisting we’ve changed — is tricky business. Weiner has a lot of wronged relationships to make right, especially those with constituents and family.

But it’s not always easy. And indeed some people will never accept his proffered amends. It appears that some people are quick to forgive, whereas others see only burnt bridges. Why is that? Is there a fundamental psychological difference between those who accept reparations readily and those who do not? And can the unforgiving be brought around?

Read the whole story: The Huffington Post