The No. 1 Most Critical Thing That Keeps Us Happier and Healthier—And 3 ‘Surprisingly Simple’ Ways to Get Started

When I’m sitting with a stressed-out patient in my office and I raise the importance of healthy relationships, they almost always intellectually understand. Of course they do! They’re brilliant! And they want to please me. They nod and smile. 

In reality, though, creating and maintaining healthy connections can be challenging. It takes time, energy, and work.

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When we’re lonely, we don’t always believe we can connect and may have a heightened fear of rejection, so it’s usually best to begin with baby steps. 

You can ease your way in through what psychologist Barbara Fredrickson calls “micro-moments” of “positivity resonance.” These are instances of fondness that happen “anytime two or more people — even strangers — connect over a shared positive emotion, be it mild or strong.”

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