Parents Labeling a Kid’s Friend a Bad Influence Can Backfire

Parents have always blamed their teens’ misbehavior on their kids’ friends: they may say their kids “fell into bad company” or “got in with the wrong crowd.” To combat what they see as pernicious influences, parents have responded with strategies that range from criticizing the wayward companions to forbidding any contact altogether. This type of response by parents has been documented from the Netherlands to China.

In fact, the question remains as to whether placing these supposed bad influences off-limits actually helpS children. “Not a bit” is the answer, according to child psychology researchers. In fact, this type of response actually backfires. As researchers have found in several studies, parents’ disapproval or restrictions on hanging out with a supposed bad actor actually makes behavior problems worse—and the experts are not exactly sure why that is. “People have seen this; they scratch their heads and say they’re not sure what to make of it,” says Florida Atlantic University psychologist Brett Laursen.

…

The idea that parental interference in peer friendships can make a child seem “uncool” to peers and set them off on a disruptive trajectory is a really new insight, says Northern Illinois University developmental psychologist Nina Mounts. It fits with research showing that prohibitions are probably not a good strategy for parents, she says. “Consulting with kids, on the other hand, leads to more prosocial behavior, more empathy and better social skills.”

Read the whole story (subscription may be required): Scientific American