How to Get a Party Buzz Even When You’re Not Drinking

It doesn’t matter why you’ve chosen not to drink this holiday season: Your reasons are your own, and they are good enough. But regardless of whether you are sober year-round or you’re just giving yourself a break in December, you are likely facing a series of festive occasions that test your will to make merry with nothing but your unadulterated personality and an ugly sweater. Scrooge may have faced three spirits, but none of them were the Ghost of Christmas Small Talk.

To avoid the awkwardness, you might be tempted to just stay in. “We know how nice it is to curl up on the couch,” said Elizabeth Dunn, a happiness researcher and professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia. But, she added, we consistently underestimate how enjoyable it is to go out and talk to people. “We are social creatures,” she said. “The No. 1 predictor of happiness is a feeling of social connection.”

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The single best thing you can do to feel less self-conscious is to stop thinking about yourself at all. “Going to a party and thinking about what others are thinking about you is a pretty surefire way to have a terrible time,” said Nicholas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. “It’s such a reliable way to feel terrible that social psychologists in the ’70s and ’80s used to have people sit in front of a mirror and think about themselves when they wanted to study how negative moods affect behavior.”

Read the whole story (subscription may be required): The New York Times